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Archive for April, 2008

“Listen to counsel and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days.” Proverbs 19:20.

We mentor by modeling attitude and behavior. It’s like the apprenticeship method in past centuries. A blacksmith, carpenter, or stonemason would take on a young person to work alongside him. By watching and doing, that student would become a master at that work too.

Of course, it also took constructive criticism by the master of the apprentice’s work. The student, in turn, accepted that criticism and corrected his work. If both of those didn’t occur, then no progress toward perfection took place.

Artists and writers have sharpened their talents, not by being instructed by professors, but by studying how others did it, and then being complimented and criticized by fellow artists. If we’re too proud to take advice from those who may be better than us (at that point), then we’re in for trial-and-error methods, often repeated many times because we fail by ourselves to recognize what the error was.

How does this principle apply to building your business? Beginners must be humble enough to accept correction from the masters. And masters must be patient enough to show the learners how it’s done.

It’s not a matter of playing the numbers game, or “throwing mud against the wall.” It’s establishing a relationship of respect where the student respects the master and wants to learn from him, and the master is humble enough to remember that at one time he too was a beginner.

What if the beginner doesn’t want to take advice? “A man who hardens his neck after much reproof will suddenly be broken beyond remedy.” Proverbs 29:1. If your way isn’t working, why spend your energy and time trying to prove it will work with just a little more positive thinking and effort? Instead, why not imitate what has been proven to work?

We’ve been told that “rules are meant to be broken.” Perhaps sometimes that’s true—but still you have to learn the rules first. In short, don’t let your pride in yourself—how self-sufficient you are—direct your business plan. You don’t have to prove that others are wrong. “Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” Proverbs 13:10. “A mocker resents correction; he will not consult the wise.” Proverbs 15:12.

Yes, we learn by doing. But we learn much faster if for a while we observe how others who are successful do it. Here’s one of Solomon’s vivid word pictures: “Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise reprover to an obedient ear.” Proverbs 25:12 NKJV. Reproof? Harsh, hm? The original word also means “rebuke.”

But listen: “He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise.” Proverbs 15:31. Do you want to be comfortable, at home, among wise leaders? That’s not going to happen just by your seeking out compliments—you need wise criticism.

To reprove or rebuke means to show what was done wrong and how to do it right. You don’t call names or belittle someone. Rather, you demonstrate the truth in a kind, firm way.

For instance, at one meeting in my early years in network marketing, I had opening remarks and introduced the speaker, the company’s trainer and marketing director, a no-guff Texan. When we got together after the meeting, he “rebuked” me, saying I appeared too educated. I didn’t talk to the people; I talked above them. I didn’t connect with them. “That was the worst speech I ever heard!” he concluded.

What was I to do with this leader’s reproof? Was it valid? I mean, I was doing all right, at least a few thousand dollars a month in this company.

Fortunately, I wanted to sharpen up my communications skills as much as possible. After some wound-licking and thinking, I knew there was something to his counsel. From then on, I began to listen more carefully to people, and talk with them as personally as I could. I read books and listened to tapes on the subject. I practiced. To be a good communicator has become one of my life’s main goals.

A true friend is one who may wound you with the truth, wanting you to correct your errors. A person who wants to use you may just give you over-blown compliments, even flattery. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.” Proverbs 27:6.

Which would you rather have? Feel good for a moment—and be stupid all your life? Or be wounded by true counsel–and be wise all your life?

By Robert “The Rabbit” Natiuk

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.” Proverbs 12:1.

“It’s a numbers game.”

Like me, you’ve likely heard that “key to success” applied to the selling profession many times. Is it true? If not entirely true, is it partially true?

Personally, I’ve found that key didn’t often open doors. It didn’t line up with what I’ve experienced. You could go through a lot of numbers, a lot of calls and contacts, and not wind up with consistent success. There are many other factors to consider.

Or, here’s another common saying in recruiting. “Throw the mud against the wall and see what sticks.” But who wants a muddied wall? How are your prospects like mud? And if some mud happens to stick, what do you do next?

The theory is that you recruit a lot of people, and a few of them will build the business. Thus you will succeed. The people you recruit either have it or don’t have. “Some will. Some won’t. So what? Next!”

My first “sponsor” (I used the word here to mean the person who signed me up) taught me how to fill little bottles with soap from a big bottle and give these out as samples. Even with such little mentoring, I had some success. But this sponsor didn’t choose to keep me informed as to the leadership of the company. Only after the company folded did he tell me that he saw signs of this happening several months earlier. He didn’t tell me earlier, he said, because he didn’t want to discourage me. When he tried to sign me up for another company, I said farewell to him.

So, if I was “mud” that managed to stick to his wall, why did I eventually slide off? Simple: If you hope to keep the mud sticking to your wall, you have to continue giving it attention. You as that wall have to be worth sticking to!

Solomon instructs us: “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” Proverbs 13:20. I believe wise people don’t hide the truth from their associates. Did I experience discouragement and harmful results because my “sponsors” didn’t tell me the truth? Of course I did! Sure, they wanted to put the best face on bad news; they wanted to be positive.

But being positive about a lie prolongs the lie and leads to increasingly bad results. It’s like a doctor telling you that you are well when you may have atherosclerosis. If you suffer a heart attack or stroke, then the doctor tells you he didn’t want to discourage you with bad news. Who would think that’s a wise way of being professional?

If we seek wisdom, we desire truthful and proven instruction, or mentorship. We search for it in books, seminars, audio programs, and just talking with other successful people. But the best source is to have a caring mentor who has gone before us and, through trial, error and research, he or she has become wise.

To be sponsored by such a person is to be truly sponsored, not just recruited. Such a mentor will also tell you what you’re doing wrong, hopefully in a kind but direct way that will make it stick in your mind.

Yes, we all want to succeed in the shortest time possible, with the least hassles. Yet, often we want to do it in our own power. After all, aren’t we the masters of our own destiny? Don’t we have that special power inside of us that will carry us to victory…even if we don’t know much about building the business we’ve joined? We want not only success but claim all the credit for it.

The top leaders at one company’s convention were sharing their “secrets to success.” One told how he was constantly listening to motivational tapes. “When I turn the key in my car ignition, automatically a tape starts playing. I don’t listen to music or news. It’s always a tape. I believe it’s because of that habit that I’m successful.”

Well, OK. I remember that in his 15-minute speech, not once did he give any credit to his associates, three of whom accounted for 90% of his business. True, he was being mentored in a way by those tapes…a second-hand process. And he passed down to us his secret of second-hand mentoring, which now became third-hand.

Just because a person can mouth a lot of success principles doesn’t mean he can apply them, or model them for his associates. The practice of discipline makes principles work. “Poverty and shame will come to him who neglects discipline. But he who regards reproof will be honored.” Proverbs 13:18.

So a mentor meant for you is one who has discipline to put wisdom to work for him…and you.

By Robert “The Rabbit” Natiuk

“A poor man’s field may produce abundant food, but injustice sweeps it away.” Proverbs 13:23.

Perhaps the deepest wisdom we can grasp is that sometimes life throws disaster at us and we can’t fully recover what we once lost. No matter how positive of a thinker we may be, we just can’t change some things. But can we transform the bad into something good?

People work hard for most of their lives…and sometimes lose just about everything to swindlers, wars, disease, criminals.

Solomon alludes to an example of murderers who say, “Come along with us, let’s lie in wait for someone’s blood, let’s waylay some harmless soul.” Proverbs 1:11.

Doesn’t sound like much wisdom, does it? Just truth – sometimes good people suffer because of bad people, or even bad circumstances. Rabbi Harold S. Kushner tried to deal with that problem in his outstanding book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People. Yet, he had to admit that there was no absolute answer.

Neither do I have the answer to the tough question of unfairness in life. So, let’s see if a few stories can help encourage us and give us a bit of wisdom.

How would you like to be remembered mostly because a life-sapping, crippling disease is named after you? Like Lou Gehring’s disease, a form of infantile paralysis.

In 1936 to 1938, Gehring was captain and first-base for the New York Yankees when they won three World Series. By then, he had played 2,130 consecutive games. How did he do that? He played through pain, illness and injuries.

Near the end of his career, X-rays revealed that he had 17 different fractures that had healed by themselves. Every finger in his hands at one time or another had been broken, but he played on. Until Tuesday, May 2, 1939 — when he told Yankee manager McCarthy that it was time to hang up his mitt. The Sunday before, he couldn’t even pretend to play. Four times at bat…he didn’t hit a single pitch. In the field, he muffed throws.

Shortly after, the doctors at Mayo clinic told him he had perhaps two years to live. And his physical body would become more and more unresponsive. He would face a slow, painful death.

You perhaps remember seeing the famous photo of Lou Gehring at home plate, looking out at the fans. That was on July 4, 1939, when almost 62,000 fans and many baseball players came to honor Gehring.

When all the speeches in his honor were ended, the stadium roared with applause. Gehring had his head bowed, then he looked around at his fans and friends. He said: “For the past two weeks you have been reading about a bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.”

That’s gratitude. That’s joy. That kind of outlook on life brings meaning to the setbacks and pain we experience.

Millions of people never get the chance to try and fail. Their government or circumstance forces them to spend their lives in certain ways. Many never get a second chance. The majority of the world’s people don’t have one-tenth of blessings we have. To realize these blessings helps us to be happy, to make our bones come alive!

To me, true success is following wisdom, or the right path, in spite of apparent setbacks and failures. It’s like the story of Esther. She decides to approach the king in order to plead for the lives of her people, the Jews. Convinced she’s their only hope, she says, “I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.” Esther 4:16.

Sometimes it’s only after a major failure in our life that we decide to absolutely follow the wisest course from then on.

I just read the book How Starbucks Saved My Life by Michael Gates Gill. A title that grabs you. No, it isn’t about the power of caffeine or lattes or espressos to keep your heart pumping. It’s not about the product—it’s about the business.

In his fifties, Michael had it made, so he thought. A six-figure salary at a renowned ad agency, an ivy league education, a big house in the suburbs, a solid family life. But by the time he was sixty, he lost most of that. Even his family became fractured. He was alone in New York City—no job, little money, and not much hope.

One day he sat in a Manhattan Starbucks, brooding over his remaining luxury, a latte. Perhaps in jest, 28-year-old manager Crystal offered him a job. Michael took it along with a wage that was barely above minimum.

Michael began at the very bottom, cleaning floors and restrooms. But he determined to do the very best job he could. His sense of self-respect and gratitude grew. The many little things he had overlooked in his previously “big job” he now worked on. Attention to detail, respect for all people, step-by-step learning, the wisdom of “little things”—all helped to reform him into a more caring, capable human being.

For Michael, wisdom was not some esoteric head-knowledge. It was learning to tune in to the welfare of other people and serving them.

Perhaps at times you will have to make some major changes in your business direction that will hurt you financially, at least for a time. You might be tempted to lower your standards in order to keep what you’ve gained. But this is not wise, according to Solomon. “Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.” Proverbs 4:6,7.

Written by Robert “The Rabbit” Natiuk

“A cheerful heart is good medicine: but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22.

As I think about the Proverbs, I have to conclude that it wasn’t necessary for me to learn important life’s lessons the hard way – through experience, challenges, failures, and some successes. But it seems that was about the only way I learned.

One of the hardest lessons I learned was while building a health program. My wife and I had spent about ten hard years at it, and achieved some success. For a time we were among the company’s top ten earners worldwide.

I wasn’t satisfied. I wanted to achieve even a higher status. The company’s executive “enhanced” the compensation plan several times. We were told of all the additional benefits because of these brilliant changes. It meant, though, that the qualifications had been raised. Over my years in marketing, I’ve found that “enhancements” almost always mean we have to work even harder.

After months of working too hard, not getting enough rest and relaxation and time with my family, it hit me. No health program is worth building – if it destroys your health. Realizing this, I knew I could not continue promoting this business. Although we had a fair number of rewards, I could no longer reconcile my dream with this company’s direction. My vision had broken into pieces. My spirit felt evaporated. I guess you could say I was burned out.

We backed off on our commitment and eventually sold that business.

That experience reminded me of a job I had during high school, in an office where they dealt in investments. Evelyn had worked there for over 30 years, a stenographer who could type at 100 words per minute. That summer, as she approached 60, the boss fired her. Many of the employees were dumbfounded, thinking that it was unfair for a person to give so many good years to a company and then be fired so short of retirement. Of course, Evelyn’s spirit was broken and I don’t know if she ever recovered.

The truth is we don’t have as much control over our work destiny as success gurus pretend. We might be captains of our own ships, but we can’t control the seas. Business conditions and regulations change. Our health may change. What we’ve worked so hard to achieve could be flushed down the drain by events beyond our control. Oooh – that is so not THE SECRET!

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9. This was even true for the mighty king, Solomon. “My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” Proverbs 3:11-12.

“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.” Proverbs 27:1. I’ve heard big dreams shared at conventions as a way to inspire us, supposedly. Roger, for instance, was nearing $100,000 per month in commissions. He confidently told us, “Within two years, I believe that will be $1,000,000 per month.”

In two years Roger had some major disagreements with the company’s executives. He sold his business, began his own, and never got anywhere near even the $100,000 per month he had been earning.

So, what do we do? How do we maintain the good medicine of a joyful heart? How do we keep our bones from drying up?

Foremost: “Walk in the ways of good men and keep to the paths of the righteous.” Proverbs 2:20. Solomon urges us to seek wisdom with all our heart. By following true wisdom, then no matter what misfortunes we may face, we can survive failure and begin again.

And that is what true success is all about.