Secretforlife.com

Archive for March, 2009

Proverbs 12:25: “Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.”

“Don’t worry. Be happy!” Bobby McFerrin, lyrics from the movie Cocktails.

“What? Me worry?” Alfred E. Neuman, Mad Magazine.

“Yes, me worry!” Alfred E. Neuman, after Three-Mile Island nuclear mishap.

“That’s the secret of life…replace one worry with another.” Charles M. Schulz (1922-2000), Charlie Brown.

Be happy. Stop worrying. Easier said than done, for you can’t stop worrying by trying to stop worrying. Just like you can’t not think of a red monkey by trying not to think of a red monkey. How’s that for syntax?

Maybe you can stop thinking of a red monkey by thinking of a white elephant. Or by thinking of the things you love in your life—family, friends, children, music, God, books, nature. And even little things we seldom think of as blessings—colors, blue sky (where? I’m in the Northwest!) Rain. Sitting down with a cup of coffee or tea. Robins. Geese. Grass and trees.

You got to do something else in the place or worry. Think thanks. Speak praise. Dwell on all the blessings in your life.

A spirit of thankfulness has a vibrant effect on your life and in those who relate with you. Trials? Yes, we all have them. But thanks-giving during trials means you have faith and trust in God and an abiding confidence in yourself because of that.

“If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you cannot solve it then what is the use of worrying?” Shantideva (8^th century AD.)

Proverbs 15:15: “For the despondent, every day brings trouble; for the happy heart, life is a continual feast.”

It’s tough for people to be happy during these tough times. By happy, I mean joy-filled. That means having an inner sense of security no matter what. You have to have faith in Something, or Someone, much bigger than yourself to have that.

Bigger even than our country and its leaders. Bigger than Wall Street and the United Nations.

That’s radical concept. All about us leaders are scrambling for some kind of financial stability and security from all kinds of threats. Mostly, they are not making much progress.

Should we wait for them to solve our problems? Then what should we do? What would be best for our physical and mental health, and for those we’re connected with?

Give thanks. If you’re a believer, give thanks to a Higher Power. If you’re doubtful about a Supreme Power, give thanks to others, to nature, for whatever you have and wouldn’t want to do without. Giving thanks will take your attention away from yourself and your troubles. Gratitude is the mother of all virtues. It will help you not only survive crises but turn many of them around for good.

Let’s say you’re working for a company that is downsizing. Out of 200 employees, 50 must go. When the list is narrowed down, who remains on it—the person who brings a thankful spirit to the workplace…or the grumpy, woe-is-me Sadsack?

Who is among the first to be hired? People with emotional intelligence are often preferred to the more intelligent, skilled prospects. But you can’t pretend to be happy—it must flow from your inner being, like a spring.

You will find that your ongoing positive joy, wherever you are, will bring you better results in life. In fact, the more trials you face, the more opportunity you have to count your blessings—because you may have to get down to the littlest blessings. And there are a countless number of those.

The apostle Paul said it well: “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” (Romans 12:12).

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” – Cicero (106 BC – 43 BC.)

Proverbs 8:32-34: “And so, my children, listen to me, for all who follow my ways are joyful. Listen to my instruction and be wise. Don’t ignore it. Joyful are those who listen to me, watching for me daily at my gates, waiting for me outside my home!”

I just can’t be serious for long. Just short bouts of deep thinking are enough before my mind jumps to the humorous, irrelevant or twisted.

I was that way as a child. That was my excuse then—now, second and third childhoods and all that.

A first grade teacher asked her 26 students to finish some well-known proverbs, you know, those that say deep things like “Don’t change horses in the middle of the stream,” and “Strike while the iron is hot.” If you ride horses across rivers and know something about blacksmithing, then you know what that means.

Now we have down-to-earth, or sandbox, proverbs. Here’s a selection from this teacher’s class of little Solomons.

1. Don’t change horses until they stop running.
2. Strike while the bug is close.
3. It’s always darkest before Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but How?
6. Don’t bite the hand that looks dirty.
7. No news is impossible.
8. A miss is as good as a Mr.
9. You can’t teach an old dog new Math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you’ll stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust Me.
12. The pen is mightier than the pigs.
13. An idle mind is the best way to relax.
14. Where there’s smoke there’s pollution.
15. Happy the bride who gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is not much.
17. Two’s company, three’s the Musketeers.
18. Don’t put off till tomorrow what you put on to go to bed. (Figure that one out!)
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you have to blow your nose.
20. Children should be seen and not spanked or grounded.
21. If at first you don’t succeed, get new batteries.
22. When the blind lead the blind, get out of the way.
23. A bird in the hand is going to poop on you.

24. Better late than pregnant.u.

So here are two for you to play with. (1) “Look before you leap”, and (2) “He who hesitates is lost.” See, now you’re on the way to being a Solomon!

“Facing a mirror you see merely your own countenance; facing your child you finally understand how everyone else has seen you.” – Daniel Raeburn, The New Yorker, 05-0-1-2006.

Proverbs 13:3: “Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.”

There are eyes and ears everywhere about us, and YouTube to report to the world what we do, say and write. That’s why President Barack Obama couldn’t get away with talking about his bowling score and mentioning that the Special Olympics would be the appropriate venue for his skills.

Many people didn’t take kindly to that disparagement. We have many instances in various areas of life where leaders had to retract, sometimes even resign, for their off-handed comments. Words have power. Many times in my attempts of cleverness I’ve learned that Solomon was right: “Opening your mouth can ruin everything.”

That goes for the written word too. Here’s a humorous, perhaps true, four-day typographical miry swamp of ads from a small-town newspaper.

Monday: “For Sale—R.D Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 947-0707 after 7:00 pm and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap.”

Tuesday: “Correction. We regret having erred in R.D. Jones’ ad yesterday. It should have read: ‘One sewing machine for sale, cheap. Phone 948-0707 and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him after 7 pm.”

Wednesday: “Correction – R.D. Jones has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in his classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: ‘For sale – R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 948-0707 after 7:00 pm and ask for Mrs. Kelly who loves with him.’”

Thursday: “Notice –I, R.D. Jones, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don’t call 948-0707 as the telephone has been taken out. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper but she quit.”

The above shows us how wrong or misplaced words, even a wrong letter like “loves” instead of “lives,” can make a vast difference to the meaning. Yet we can’t converse well if we have to edit ourselves ahead of speaking. Good words have to come from a good heart (mind).

Jesus said: “Whatever is in your heart determines what you say” (Matthew 12:34).

“Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.” – Horace, Roman poet, 65 BC - 8 BC.

Proverbs 4:10-13: [Lady Wisdom speaking] “My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life. I will teach you wisdom’s ways and lead you in straight paths. When you walk, you won’t be held back; when you run, you won’t stumble. Take hold of my instructions; don’t let them go. Guard them, for they are the key to life.”

Just like most six-year-olds don’t wet their pants, not everybody lies, cheats, commits fraud or bends the rules because “everybody does it.” So points out Jon M. Huntsman in his book Winners Never Cheat.

Never? Isn’t that a bit much. In the 3G Club we mentioned yesterday, for six-year-old boys and up, you couldn’t belong if you wet your pants. Or hid under the table. Or told lies.

Aren’t those rules “a bit much?” Couldn’t we have a club for kids where they could do just about anything they wished, break rules, not care about what is right, rip off other kids?

Actually, we have such a club. But generally the “kids” are considerably older than six. You’ll find them in politics, business, banks, law firms, education, sports. All over. They certainly are not members of the Great, Great Guys’ Club (G3).

Not following right values leads to leakage of morals. It’s incontinence of the conscience.

We can accept incontinence of babies and toddlers, those in diapers, who are still learning to control themselves. But physically healthy grown-ups? People in high places? Come on! Quit soiling your pants, folks.

But while I’m pointing my finger at people in high places, I have to examine my own life. What about the little things, the little fibs and shortcuts? Well, those do add up—how I treat the people in my circle of influence, my family, my associates. Even how I treat my dog. Or cat—(that was a little hard for me to admit!)

Start with little things. The Lord promises: “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things. I will make you ruler over many things. Come and share the joy of the Lord!” (Matthew 25:21).

“Americanism means the virtues of courage, honor, justice, truth, sincerity, and hardihood—the virtues that made America. The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price…the love of soft living and the get-rich-quick theory of life.” (Theodore Roosevelt, 1858 – 1919).

Proverbs 20:17: “Stolen bread tastes sweet, but it turns to gravel in the mouth.”

Have you ever had a “sand sandwich?” Perhaps at the beach, a little sand got into your picnic lunch. It’s crunchy, isn’t it?

More and more cheaters are now eating “sand-wiches.” Bernard Madoff facing life in prison for his $50-billion-dollar Ponzi scheme. AIG executives facing the public’s backlash for their “bonuses.” And the list goes on and on.

In his book, Winners Never Cheat, John Huntsman tells about his grandsons’ G3 Club, which they began and put on by themselves, without adults present. Some rules: (1) You have to be at least six years old; (2) you can’t fall asleep in meetings; (3) mustn’t wet your pants; (4) or crawl under the table.

Then there are the G3 ethical rules.

1. Do what you’re supposed to do when told.

2. Be honest and kind.

3. Never tell lies.

4. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.

Oh, if only older kids would follow those rules—older all the way up to the ages of those in governmental positions…and kings, queens and dictators too! And those in care of our money and taxes and healthcare. Educators, too, and students writing term papers and taking exams. Athletes who might take performance-enhancing drugs.

The laws of a nation might help to keep the rationalizers and the unfair manipulators in check. But the greatness of any nation is not so much in its laws but in the laws written on the citizens’ hearts. Decency and generosity, putting the other person first, are not governed by laws but by living ethics within the character.

That’s what the G3 kids were expressing. To play and live “honorably and splendidly” at any age.

“Life to me is the greatest of all games. The danger lies in treating it as a trivial game, a game to be taken lightly, and a game in which the rules don’t matter much. The rules matter a great deal. The game has to be played fairly or it is no game at all. And even to win the game is not the chief end. The chief end is to win it honorably and splendidly.” – Ernest Shackleton, Antarctica explorer (1874–1922).