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Posts Tagged ‘Rules for Life; Erma Bombeck’

Proverbs 3:7-8: “Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.”

Since Erma Bombeck died, I haven’t yet found any advice columnist worth reading. She is the Solomon for today’s world. Here’s her “Ten Rules to Live By.”

1. Never have more children than you have car windows!
2. Gravity always wins. [Your bathroom mirror tells you that when the sags appear.] Accept that.
3. Never loan your car to someone to whom you have given birth.
4. Pick your friends carefully. A “friend” never goes on a diet when you’re fat.
5. Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.
6. Given a choice between the man of your dreams and a plumber, choose the latter. Men who can fix your toilet on Sundays are hard to come by!
7. Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna!
8. Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man or woman someday to complete a sentence for you.
9. There are no guarantees in marriage. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a Sears battery.
10. Never go to your class reunion pregnant. If you do, they’ll think that’s all you’ve been doing since you graduated!

That tenth one doesn’t apply to me. So I’ll redesign it.

Never go to a class reunion wearing a toupee. If you do, they’ll think you’re a trapper!

“All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.” – Erma Bombeck (1927 – 1996).